Hello, It's Me: I Was Wondering If After All These (Months) You'd Like To Meet

Saturday, 28 November 2015

I feel like I've over-annotated this post as it is so basically these photos are my life in squares and/or the food I ate in (semi) chronological order from July-November. 

In my tragically unexplained absence I did three things: 

1. Slept poorly, but what’s new. 
2. Overindulged in food (for which I’m now compensating with healthy cures procured from pinterest—apple vinegar shots anyone?). 
3. Grew way too attached to the word tragic and have since been using it unnecessarily and butchering the essence of the word. 

PSA: Please see end of post for the appropriate endnotes. This post has just become a joke.

In all seriousness, I have no explanation for my rendezvous with real life. July was Winter and I had suddenly indefinitely lost my vision for this space. Or maybe I caught the Winter blues, which extended into Spring (but thankfully not Summer because I saved it by three days all thanks to my inspiring nap[a] [b]). Over that period of four months (tragic) I’d considered, and written out, variations of those typical (of me) “boo, I’m still here” posts that were all nonchalant in tone and did very well at semi-skirting over the fact that I’d even evaporated in the first place.

I think it mostly had something to do with the fact that I myself hadn’t come to terms with why it’d happened. When you consider the circumstances, I was on my semester break, which I used as my first excuse to myself—“Jess you deserve a break” (laughable). And then I was back at uni—“this semester’s a tough one”—too many birthdays—“gotta channel that energy into inspiring presents”(?)—lack of reading—“I’m woefully behind regardless, what’s there to talk about?”—back to the retail grind—“physical and mental exhaustion is enough, Jess”—exams and presentations coming—“concentrate, why don’t you?”. And had I let myself go on, it would have been “holiday festivities are a time to find yourself in real life”.[c]

So when you put the excuses aside, what have I been doing? Everything I used to do, minus the reading (I’m kidding, I’m reading small amounts). It’s horrid that I also don’t keep a track of things all too well considering my memory’s not all that great for a rather young person. 

In the past months I’ve been absent from this space, I’ve gone to three book events (I couldn’t muster up the energy for Cassandra Clare)—Marianne Curley’s signing (Australian YA fantasy author), a Hachette book blogger night featuring the lovely Holly Black and most recently (by which I mean last week if memory serves me well) the Illuminae launch! They were all fantastic and I managed to catch up with a load of other bloggers which left me inspired for a nice average of 4 hours before I went to bed and slept it off (haha). I must note that while I was at those events all three most current books by featured authors remained untouched and unread, although Illuminae is on the horizon (why am I even proud of that)[d]. 

Four months has meant I’ve had all the time in the world to read and have come to a final count of one book: Lair of Dreams[e] [f]. It was a hefty one to read (and me being the #anti-gym2k15jess that I am, certainly struggled with holding it) and in my mind, and to the assurance of others, amounted to two books. I semi half reread Hello I Love You for a review that’s coming in the future where I promise you nothing. I read 20 pages of Reawakenedby Colleen Houck and because fate is cruel, I abandoned it after I found out the male MC counterpart (y’all know what I mean) was bald (the irony of it all was that I’d spent the night before complaining with @SueYAHollywood about our distaste for fictional man buns and long hair. I don’t like copious amounts of it but please let there be some.) I’ve bought Legacy of Kings, The Rose Society, Six of Crows and Uprooted[g] [h] because I am a hoarder. I have things like Magnus Chase, Dumplin’, that second Magisterium book, The November Criminals, Hello Goodbye and Everything InBetween and a whole heap more to read and subsequently review[i]. I’ve got An Eternity of Eclipse to finish (which I feel cheated by because technically I’ve read this book already, in the form before publication, and yes I skipped to the last page to check.) Basically books and I are a mess right now. 

Aside from a massive review backlog that I’m now happily ignoring, other things I am behind on are curating care packages, sending said packages out, actually leaving comments on blog posts instead of just reading them on my phone and realising that I’m not logged in and putting it off for later, getting organisation for November[j] and December together, studying for exams[k], the state of my wardrobe (within which I can no longer find anything because I buy and stuff), text messages (bless everyone and their patience[l]), etc so on, so forth. 

What I do have a grasp on is things I want to buy and movies I want to see and television shows. The first of this, I justify with the upcoming festivities—a time for love and spending money—the movies, because I find jubilation in talking throughout them and television shows because I can leave them running in the background. From memory, I’ve recently caught The Martian, Legend, The Gift, The Scorch Trials and The Witness[m] [n]. I’d say The Martian won out of the lot and Legend sits firmly, and without a doubt, at the bottom. 

While this space might have been collecting dust, I’m still on other platforms. For those who follow my complaints (I’m sorry) and other tidbits on Twitter and Snapchat (let me know if you have that, I’d leave my username hanging about but I feel like this one is a tad more personal?), you’ll know that I decided I wanted pink hair. It started off rose gold because I saw this kpop dude with it and it looked so hella good on him that I abandoned all my ~~grey~ hair aspirations. Then being the silly person that I am, somewhere along the way I left my pink toner in a tad too long and ended up with hot pink hair, which I don’t exactly mind either. It’s cute, I suppose and it’s meant that I’m wearing a whole heap more pink because for some reason, I think it’d be sweeter if I matched myself up all in one colour (logic).[o] Ideally I want to know push myself to the other end of the spectrum with blue but who knows where I’ll go. Hair is just another thing in my life that's in limbo because I've decided that it's good for me to not plan all too much (just like how I planned to get this post up and we saw how that all went.) 

In some of my other posts I addressed other things, such as being plagiarised some time back in September. In a “could-be welcome back draft” I talked about how that motivated me to start the blogging all over again, but obviously I can’t copy and paste that paragraph to you anymore considering what a load of bollocks that was. I do however have this little thing that semi-explains where a lot of my pent up desire to complain went: 

The irony lies in the fact that my last post also addressed a period of disappearance, although not quite as drastic as this time round. It seems I have a knack for ignoring this space. Which isn't to say that somewhere along the way I lost my enthusiasm for complaining (I kid, let's say analysing my discontent for certain things) or my love for word vomit. It's just that I have no such content in accordance with books. Because I've been in the #2k15kingofslumps. Last night I stumbled across a land mine of essays written by me over the past two months about a variety of topics--to give you a tester think complaints about the preachiness of Tomorrowland, thoughts about society mollycoddling the youths of tomorrow, korean stars suing left and right over their contracts. The whole lot, really. The thing is, I'm not sure how many people I'd interest with those topics. And I'm very sure about how many people I'd anger with those topics. Because they sure as hell assert an opinion and I'm not on the side of the majority, let me tell you. Some days I juggle with the idea of creating a platform where those essays could generate some discussion and as Amanda kindly let me know, I already have a platform. And touch√©. However for the reasons listed above (and the fact that expletives are my in my second nature) I don't believe that this space is it. I want to create book and general life related content for you here, leave the politics and whatnot elsewhere. 

All that, and the clip art-esque manner in which I’ve scattered pictures and videos and annotations about in this post should sum myself, and my time in the past four months, up (the 2000 words shorter version is: mess). It scares me, how quickly time flies. To think my biggest achievement this year was buying a pair of shoes before it sold out once again (tragic). Another way to measure how quickly time flew was how I’d booked Hozier tickets some time during my last post and have just realised that the concert is next week[p] [q]. Amazing. Or, the best way to consider it is how I read Cress last year, forgot all about the last book and now Winter’s out in 2 weeks[r] [s]. And of course, I remember not a single thing. Just the way I like to read my books. 

How do we get familiar again? What’s the best book you’ve read since the middle of the year (yikes)? And how festive are you feeling already? (Because let me tell you, I can feel christmas in my bones already.)[t] 

P.S. Aren't y'all proud of my Adele pun? Okay, I'll leave now. 

Endnote Disclaimer

Because of the amount of annotations, they are coded as following. Pink is for the first revisions, a short time following the original date this post was written—think November 2nd. Blue is for the second revisionoccurring around November 17thwhere I thought it couldn’t get more embarrassing to have to go about and correct things because time keeps going, even when you want it to pause so you can take a breath. And lastly, green is for the last (hopefully) round of edits—November 24th—where I truly assert how much of a joke this post as been. Bless you, Jess. Bless you.

[a] Alright, so that no longer sounds applicable but I’d saved it when I’d originally wrote this however the formatting set me back days and now my cunningness has been ruined.
[b] Two weeks later and this little save of mine is now a little less witty and a little more like a jinx.
[c] The one missing in between this and the last one is “Jess, you know you have the post drafted but its now exam season, let’s drag this out three weeks longer."
[d] I still haven’t read any of those books and I certainly have not touched Illuminae. I’ve flipped it open though, awed a bit but that’s about the extent of it. And that Illuminae launch was more like last month than last week.
[e]  This is literally still my read count, weeks later. 
[f] With what I hope to be my LAST revision of this damn post, I can now proudly say that I’ve read a grand whopping total of TWO books, the other being TheName of the Star by Maureen Johnson which I disliked. How fantastic.
[h] The longer I drag out this post’s revision stages, the more books I buy. Please add Black Eyed Susans to this list.
[i] Please add The Marvels and Unbecoming.
[j] December is organized but obviously November is tragically in its dying days and let me tell you, it was not organized.
[k]  To put this into perspective, exams are now over. 
[l] Its gotten to a point where people are now just scolding me and patience is no longer a concept. My bad.
[m] Add Spectre to this. 
[n] And now, Mockingjay Part 2 has been ticked off the list as well.
[o] The whole chunk where I discuss pink hair should now be in past tense because I’ve now toned it a somewhat ashy blonde with a heavier emphasis on light brown at the crown.
[p] By the first revision, this concert had passed by.
[q] Since that edit, it has long, long passed by.
[r] One week now, but let’s just be proud that I saved one tragic sentence from becoming irrelevant.
[s] Since the last time I revised this, Winter has now been released for a good week or two and I’ve walked past it several times without remembering to stop for a copy. Also my bad. 
[t] That last sentence would have been weirder had I published this when I first wrote it—late October—but now it just seems so appropriate.